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Bullying and What To Do About It |
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Bullying and What To Do
About It
Although its always been around, bullying should never
be accepted as normal behavior. The feelings experienced by victims of
bullying are painful and lasting. Bullies, if not stopped, can progress
to more serious, antisocial behavior. Recent incidents of school
violence show that bullying can have tragic consequences for
individuals, families, schools, and entire communities.
Recognize It (for what it is)
Bullying is aggressive
behavior. A child is targeted by one or more youths with repeated
negative actions over a period of time. These are intentional attempts
to cause discomfort or injury and can include name-calling, making
faces, obscene gesturing, malicious teasing, threats, rumors, physical
hitting, kicking, pushing, and choking. More subtle is simply excluding
a child from the group. Generally, bullying occurs when there’s an
imbalance of power favoring the bully. Victims usually feel they don’t
have the strength to defend themselves. Make no mistake, bullying is a
form of violence that shouldn’t be tolerated.
Spot the Bullies
- They are both boys and girls. Boys bully more
often and more physically than girls. Girls are more likely to use
rejection and slander.
- Bullies usually pick on others out of frustration
with their own lives. They target other children because they need a
victim who is weaker than them.
- While they may feel uneasy about it, many children
tease their peers simply to go along with the crowd.
Know Their Targets
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Girls and boys alike are
targeted.
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Those who are physically
different in race, body size, or clothing. Those with disabilities or
those who are dealing with sexual orientation issues. Both groups are
kids who are typically anxious, insecure, and suffering from low
self-esteem. This makes them good targets.
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There are few differences among
racial and ethnic groups in the numbers of students being bullied.
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Start
early. Parent/child talks are critical. Teach kids to respect
others before they start school and continue to talk about this topic
on an ongoing basis. Even small acts of teasing should be stopped in
their tracks. Don’t fail to correct this kind of behavior due to a
child’s young age. This is exactly when to stop it.
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Teach your children how
to be assertive. Encourage your children to express
their feelings clearly, say no when they feel uncomfortable or
pressured, stand up for themselves without fighting, and walk away in
dangerous situations. Bullies are less likely to intimidate children
who are confident and resourceful.
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Stop bullying when you
see it. Adults who remain silent when children are bullying
others give permission to the behavior and thereby encourage it.
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Tell your children to
take action when they see bullying behavior. Tell them
to speak out against the bully and inform a teacher if the behavior
doesn’t stop. Bullying continues only when we allow it to.
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Communicate clear
policies and consequences. Bullying is less likely in
schools where adults are involved and firm about stopping bullying
behaviors. Send out a clear message at your school that bullying will
have negative consequences.
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Team up. Work
with your PTA or local mental health association to make sure that
schools treat bullying as violence. Help them develop programs to
prevent bullying and promote safe school environments.
For
more information or resources in North Carolina, visit www.mha-nc.org or contact our Information & Referral Line at 1-800-897-7494 or
email at
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For all other
states, contact Mental
Health America.
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